"Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome."
"Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself, and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life."
So, in honor of leap year I decided to take a leap. I mean what the heck it only comes around once every four years!
For a while now, I have known I needed a change and I have also known that this change will not be the traditional type of change where I cross all t's and dot all i's before I make it. Something happened on my last yoga retreat where I felt that in order to take the next step in my personal growth I had to let go of that need to always have it all figured out. Yet, when I returned I felt confused as to what that truly meant for my life. For the last few months, I have had to practice patience in allowing the plan to unfold. I had learn to be accepting of where I was and not in a hurry for the change...hence being present each day for what it brought me (who thought of that?).
Then I read a recent article titled living from Inspiration versus Willpower. It made me see the difference and toll living by willpower takes on you. When you live by will power, you have to use your own energy to fuel your creativity and your actions. It can be exhasusting because we spend so much of our energy taking care of others, worrying about future events, trying to control outcomes that we have little life energy left to apply towards ourself. Living from inspiration allows our work and play to be fueled by that indescribable force that makes time stand still, that makes you feel limitless, that gives you joy beyond explanation. I get this when I teach. Living by inspiration feeds your energy. I realized that my current work was being guided by sheer will and that I was tired and the toll that my body was taking was not worth the cost. The clouds lifted and I had the clarity I was seeking. Change was needed.
So, I knew change was needed but yet I had no plan...a few ideas and leads but really nothing more than the knowing that it was needed. That is where I am learning faith and trust and where the fun will begin. Today I let go of a path that served its purpose but was ready to be released into the past. I know not where my next step will be and I have never felt more peaceful and excited...ok and a tad scared. I guess that is what yoga is teaching me. Courage to experiment with the "flow" of things...the balance of letting go of that need to force my way through life with my will and the strength to start a new phase without the whole roadmap visible with my guide called inspiration. Thank you, yoga for teaching me how to play.
I start March with a spring in my step as I welcome in the new energy of change without plans. It is a stranger to me yet I feel like I can let her in my home.